Three Things to Stop Saying to Someone who is Struggling

  1. […] That, despite the attempts that I made to keep it all together for him and his younger siblings, there were days when I just wasn’t okay. When I just couldn’t keep it together anymore. Days where, despite how much I loved him and his […]

  2. Amy Hale says:

    I think I may have used the word season when we were talking. If I did, I’m sorry if I came across as insensitive to your situation. The depth of despair and loneliness I am just barely beginning to come out of right now has been excruciating and our family has struggled a ton. My intention was only to share what God showed me, in an attempt to offer hope. Love you.

  3. Cheryl L says:

    Hi Courtney, this is my first visit to your blog, so I don’t know you, but I am truly sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time right now. I don’t quite understand what you mean by homeschooling being a “very sore” subject for you, but I hope you find your rhythm with it and eventually are able to enjoy it, and to appreciate the extra time you are able to spend with your children, even on those days when you seriously need to get away by yourself to recharge. 😉 I’ve been homeschooling for 5 years now, so I get that. As for the subject of this post, though, I wanted to suggest that, while the comments that people make sometimes may be cliche and seem thoughtless, quite often, they are just what people say when they don’t know what else to say. Yes, there will always be people who rattle off cliches just to sound wise, but even your closest friends and family may be hurting for you and still not know what to say to you or do for you. And, if they are the kind of people who keep their personal pain and suffering to themselves, those cliched truths you mentioned (which, as you said yourself, are actually truths, not trite sayings) may even be the only things they are holding on to as they wade through their own problems. That said, this post came across as angry and judgmental toward people who may only be trying to offer the best they have to give you at the moment. Extend grace. Show mercy. God has given you a platform, not just to tell people your thoughts, but to be a living example of what it means to love God and love others. Reread your final paragraph in this post. It is very wise.

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Courtney Kirkland is a Southeast Alabama Writer & Designer. Since 2008, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, intentional design to small businesses & bloggers and encouraged thousands to walk in a rich faith in any situation.