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Sometimes, as women [especially Christian Women] I feel like there is too much expected of us. We have to play wife, mother, lover, friend, sister, daughter, aunt, teacher, housekeeper, chef, & nurse everyday. And we are expected to do it with a smile and do it without complaint.
Being a mother & a wife is HARD.
I admit, sometimes I feel like I give. And give. And give. And give. And GIVE. And get little or nothing back in return. I devote all day, every day to my husband and my son. My sole purpose and desire is to make THEM happy. I sacrifice my wants, my needs, my desires, and my plans to make my family happy.
And I enjoy it.
WHAT?! Am I nuts? I must be, because I definitely just posted that.
There are the days that I just wake up in an “I don’t want to be mommy, I don’t want to be a wife, I don’t want to be a housekeeper or a chef” kind of moods where there is a big black cloud following me around all the time. Those are the days that my husband and I argue with one another. The days where I snap at my son for no reason [even though he isn’t really old enough to do anything to make me mad]. Those are the days when I am just completely and totally unpleasant to be around.
Those are the days that I hone in on the things that my husband doesn’t do for me. The things that make me feel like I never get anything in return. Those are the days that I unadmittedly resent the Coast Guard for the hours my husband works, the baby for taking up so much of my time during the day, & myself for not finishing college already before I got married.
Those are the days that I sit in front of the mirror and examine everything about myself with ridicule. The days that I throw my hair back in a pony-tail and say to myself, “Forget it. My husband isn’t going to notice that I put in the effort to make myself look good for him anyway.” Those are the days that I do the minimum when it comes to cleaning my house. Those are the days that I sit around and dwell on the things that could have been if I had only made different choices.
But God tells me that I am right where I need to be. That I am fulfilling a plan and purpose that right now only he can see. A plan that right now, only he understands. It’s then that he reminds me that I am beautiful, talented, and good wife and mother to my family. It’s on THESE kinds of days that he reminds me that even when I feel like I get absolutely nothing from the work that I put in, that my rewards lie in heaven. That I am doing the things and living the way that HE has called me to live. No matter how much “fun” it may be.
The days that I feel like my husband doesn’t treat me the way I think I deserve to be treated are the days that God snaps me back to the reality that I don’t always treat GOD the way that he deserves to be treated. I mean, hello? GOD sent his SON…his one and only SON to be brutally beaten and hung on a cross. And I can’t even find the time in my “busy schedule” to give him an hour a day to praise him and glorify him the way that he deserves.
Just because my husband doesn’t bring me flowers, or doesn’t volunteer to sit and listen to my petty problems, or take me out to eat or overwhelm me with love letters and compliments [these are coming from sappy movie marriages…not anyone I actually know in real life] doesn’t mean that I have the right to shut down on him and resent him. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you….it’s right there in God’s word…right there.
So, today, when I get upset or frustrated and feel like I have given everything that I have to give; when I feel like the krypton has drained my “SuperMom” energy levels; when I want to throw in my cape and give up, I will remember that GOD calls me to be bigger. To be better. To rely on HIM to get me through the days that I drag.
Thank you God for getting me through it.