filed under:

Shaky Unshakeable

March 27, 2020

I don’t know if you have noticed, but the world is in a major upheaval right now. Businesses have closed. Travel plans…cancelled, if not banned by the government. Schools are shutdown, some for the remainder of the school year. Cities are on lockdown. People are fighting over toilet paper. Surgeries? Cancelled. Life is, well, unsteady and definitely uncertain. For a lot of families, the realities of not having a guaranteed next paycheck are looming. For the 15.2% of the United States population over the age of 65, the fear and wonder if they’ll come in contact with someone carrying COVID-19 is a terrifying reality.

The Reality of It

I am almost 33 years old. Never in my life, so far, have I experienced a time full of so much uncertainty and worry. Sure, I had things that I worried about growing up (who doesn’t?), but never at the level or to the capacity that we do right now. Not just we, as Americans, but “we” as people and citizens of humanity. I will not give you a feel good post laid out with all of the reasons why you shouldn’t worry because God is in control. Because, quite honestly, that’s a reminder that we just don’t need.

Those of us who know the Lord, know this already and believe this already. We don’t have to have someone remind us that the Lord is in control of everything happening around us—even though it may not feel like it. Unfortunately, those kind of posts, while encouraging and full of uplifting promises and passages of scripture, are not always helpful. For someone who is teetering somewhere between a) being all in with Jesus by choosing to live their life with reckless abandon for the gospel or b) doubting whether they have the kind of faith strong enough to carry them through the difficult times they will/may endure…those feel good devotions and “God is in control” mantras will likely push them to the latter of the two choices.

For most of my life I have battled between two very different thoughts: is God enough and is He enough for me? Despite knowing that “the heart is deceitful above all things” (src) and believing with every ounce of my being that Jesus Christ died for me and for anyone who would choose to believe in Him…there is a big part of me that still struggles with trusting that God is good and that He is in control of all things. The chaos of the present day has caused me to continue to wrestle with those two questions.

It’s okay…

Despite everything we know to be true of God, sometimes that reality and our hearts belief collide.

Rather than giving you a list of stories, quotes and scripture verses meant to inspire you to have faith, I am just going to tell you that it’s alright. It’s really okay if…

…you’re having a hard time with the idea of where is God in this?
…you are struggling with the unknown and the fear of what is ahead.
…you’re frustrated or mad or upset about everything going on in the world right now.
…your kids have questions that you can’t answer.
you have questions that you can’t find answers to.
…you feel doubt or fear or anxiety.

It’s a strange time to be in and not a whole lot makes sense. I feel like too often, we try to push the idea that we are 100% okay all the time when in reality? We aren’t. God knows our hearts, our minds, our fears and our failures. He made us. He knows that you’re upset or that you’re afraid and that you don’t understand what’s going on or why. There’s no need to hide that from Him because he knows.

I can’t offer any answers. I can’t tell you what’s going to happen or what the future is going to hold for any one of us. But, what I can do is remind you that despite all of this chaos and craziness? God is still in control. Sometimes our shaky, unshakeable faith in knowing and trusting that—even when it’s hard—is what gets us through.


In light of everything going on and my own battle with the uncertainty surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic, I put something together for all of you! This 41-page PDF download includes 100+ verses to guide your prayer life. Inside you’ll find pages to record your prayer requests, prayer cards for different areas of your life and more! Be sure to check it out! I hope that it blesses you immensely.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Best of

The Blog

Browse

Every session is full of emotion, laughter, and authentic relationships.

explore my photography services ⟼

copyright 2020 courtney kirkland  |  site credits

Courtney Kirkland is a Sacramento, California photography and design business. Since 2008, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, meaningful documentary-style photography and intentional, high-quality design.  Value and celebrate the beautiful, messy, and uniquely-special moments of everyday living.