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March 21, 2012

I feel like everything on my blog lately is the same:

confessions about my lack of time to do much of anything…

expressions of how utterly exhausted I am most days…

excitement for all of the things that I want to do…

and happiness over the design waiting list that continues to grow.

Let me emphasize heavily how blessed I feel to be doing what I enjoy doing and contributing to our family.

We’re planning a big vacation in the fall and I am beyond grateful that, for the first time in three years, I am able to help out my husband. For the first time since we got married the financial burden isn’t all on him. We’re now a two income family and I can see huge differences in how we handle our finances, the relationship between the two of us, and just our family life in general. He hasn’t come out and said it, but I think maybe me working helped to lift some of the financial burden that he was feeling (whether he’d ever say he felt it or not).

But, being a business owner hasn’t come without sacrifices.

Sacrificing sleep.

Sacrificing “me” time.

Sacrificing weekends and early bedtimes.

Sacrificing time that I could have spent with Little Man.

Sacrificing lazy evenings on the couch watching bad tv.

Sacrificing lazy…anything.

I have so much admiration for moms who work outside of the home. At least working from home gives me some kind of chance to do laundry in between emails or designs. Working away from home? I can’t imagine.

And that said, I don’t discredit stay-at-home moms either. Because I was one. And being home all day, every day with a kid? That, in itself, is admirable.

I guess all of that to say this:

Thank you to those of you who continue to read and comment and take an active part in my blog, even when I can’t  (and honestly haven’t been lately…) visit you back. I will find some kind of balance.

A balance that lets me be the blogger that I was, the designer that I am, the mother that my son needs, the wife my husband deserves, and the photographer that I want to be.

But for at least a few more days, I’ll have the keep sacrificing time on the blog. That’s the only area I have to give in right now.

I can’t sacrifice time with my family. Because if I don’t get to spend time with them, then what’s the point of any of the rest? I can’t give any in my business. Because I have clients who expect things and I don’t want to let them down. And I can’t give any in photography…because that business isn’t even off the ground yet.

I’ll get there.

I swear.

Because I’m too determined not to.

I’ll be visiting everyone’s 52 Faces posts from last week today. See? I told you I was behind. And I have a whole slew of photos that I was going to use for this weeks challenge, but I didn’t get around to editing them. Just this one…that was my absolute favorite.


  1. Thrifting says:

    […] and this post is week 12 of my 52 photos challenge. I’m linking up with Courtney Kirkland. Google Friend Connect is going away Spring of 2012! So, be sure to subscribe to my RSS feed so you […]

  2. Jessica says:

    I’ve learned that sacrifices are necessary. Just be sure to keep hold of what matters most, your family, your sanity, your sleep. It’s tough being a work-at-home mom. I know from experience. Are you getting much paid help? Looking back on my time as a WAHM, that’s something I wish I would have done, rather than buy into everyone’s assumption that because I was technically home I could do everything around the house, with my daughter, and for my full time job.

    Know that we, your readers, will be here regardless. I forgot to link up last week, but I am this week. Your picture is beautiful. Be well!

  3. Kelly says:

    Courtney- my heart goes out to you, I know exactly where you are(well not exactly, I haven’t launched my own business yet), but I do understand your struggles. It is hard. Sometimes all consuming, and that to do list just keeps getting bigger the more we try to let go of it. I read about this artist talking to her mentor, lamenting about finding balance. And her mentor said ” you will never get there, so you can let it go”. While not the most positive thing, I myself have seen that just letting go of trying to find balance and focusing on the things that matter most, that balance starts to find a beautiful place in our heart. Kudos for already figuring this out! 🙂

  4. Meagan says:

    You’re doing a great job! Balance is so hard. I don’t know if anyone ever really succeeds. But keep up the great work mama! I’m so, so happy for you!

  5. Nessa says:

    i have done it all too… working full time, not working at all, working part-time right now. It is all hard. You are so right – either way you are sacrificing something. The internet is the first to go… hang in there. How exciting to be planning a vacation.

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Courtney Kirkland is a Sacramento, California photography and design business. Since 2008, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, meaningful documentary-style photography and intentional, high-quality design.  Value and celebrate the beautiful, messy, and uniquely-special moments of everyday living.