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Motherhood Robbed me of my Social Skills

August 21, 2012

I have never been a “life of the party” kind of person. I’ve never been one who would randomly walk up and introduce myself to someone I’ve never met (which explains why I’ve yet to attend a Blog Conference). I don’t go out on a limb when it comes to acquiring new friends or expanding my social circle. I’d much rather spend Friday night curled up with a DVD and a book than out partying and socializing.

This is one of the biggest differences between my husband and I. He is very much the extrovert. Always joking and cutting up. Always meeting and talking to new people. Our social lives pretty much revolve around him and what he wants to do (because, again, I’d just assume chill at home than go out). We’ve met our closest friends through him and he makes most of our weekend plans. It’s just one of those ways that we complete each other. He brings out my social side and I keep his social side in check.

I was laying in bed the other night after one of our “Do we have to go out and do something again tonight?” discussions and realized that what tiny bit of social skill I had before I had Noah, has pretty much completely vanished over the last four years.

Guys, I am a hermit.

And in truth? It really doesn’t bother me.

like spending my day at home playing with my son and getting one on one time with my big guy. Sure, he drives me nuts on occasion and there are times where I need to get out. But for the most part, not going and running to play date after play date really doesn’t bother me.

I don’t mind spending Friday night curled up on the couch with a good movie or a book or soaking it up in the bubble bath. It doesn’t phase me in the slightest not to be out rambling and going and living it up with a bunch of friends.

I read posts and hear other moms talking about how they need a girls night or “me” time. I do, too. But I prefer me time over girl time. And my “me” time? I’d much rather indulge in that at home alone rather than sneaking away to enjoy a few hours out and about somewhere else.

There are, of course, exceptions to this. I hit up the movies with my girl friends every once in a while. And I was known to spend several hours at a time sipping a Starbucks at Barnes & Noble or roaming around Target when we lived in the lower 48. I can’t help it. I’ve always been like this. I’ve always been more keep to myself than live it up and party. Even in High School.

I think that motherhood has just enhanced an already dominant trait. Because at the end of the day, by the time I’ve fixed meals, refilled juice cups, battled Transformers, dodged flying objects, folded laundry (okay, who am I kidding? I rarely fold laundry…) and done whatever work I was supposed to do that day…socializing any further than the scope of my Facebook account, Twitter feed and InstaGram stream is not at the top of my list.

I’m not Anti-Social. I swear.

I’m just an introverted mother.

Nice to meet you.

Are you an Introvert or an Extrovert? Do you find that motherhood has enhanced or changed your personality?

Linking up today with Shell @ Things I Can’t Say for Pour Your Heart Out.

  1. […] that were coming to our family started to come to light for him. I also struggled a bit with maintaining some sense of individuality and social skills despite our growing family and my shrinking free […]

  2. annie says:

    I love this post for many reasons: as usual, your honesty, and also because it’s a glimpse into who I’ll probably be when I’m a mother. Because I would rather shop by myself and spend my Friday night reading than do about anything else, already.

    Also: I love that picture of you. It cracks me up! & I love your new blog design! Especially the icons at the top. Those are sweet!

  3. Elena says:

    What a great topic to blog about! I know exactly what you mean! It’s nice to know others feel the same way. I always get afraid that since my little one was born and not getting out as much would strip me of ALL my social skills. That makes me a little nervous especially seeing as I want to get a job once Alivia is in school. I’m going to have to brush up on my skills!

  4. Meagan says:

    This got me thinking last week….I’m definitely a homebody to an extent, but I also love meeting friends and doing fun stuff. And a Tuesday morning at the playground is fine by me – fun for the kids and I usually end up chatting with the other moms. But, I often need a push to actually get out and GO! I also love that our family is close by. It gives me a chance to go do fun stuff with the people I love the most. I hope you get some good “me” time this week! 🙂

    • Courtney says:

      I think if our family was closer to us, I’d be a bit more apt to go out and interact with others. It’s exhausting dragging the one kid out and about (especially in the nasty weather that thrives in Kodiak) and I know with a second it will be worse.

  5. Me too. I’m actually fine in new situations and talking to new people, but I can only do it for so long. And I’m right there with you on the need for me time. I would way, way rather have some quiet time to myself than go out with someone else. And yes, I’ve become more that way since I became a mom.

    • Courtney says:

      I understand completely. I don’t mind being “social” for a little while, but when I hit my limit, I’m done. I basically shut down and forget how to interact (or so it seems).

  6. Jamie says:

    Oh how I can relate to this (although i’m not a mother) I’m very much an introvert. And being an introvert is beautiful all in itself. Although since moving to a new place altogether I’ve pushed myself further than ever.

    Part of it with me is my independence too. I like my “me time” and “my space.” So it tends to clash with others time and time again. I still haven’t found that balance!

    • Courtney says:

      I haven’t found that balance yet either. I like things a certain way, like my house a certain way, and like going to certain places. It’s not that I don’t want to give and take, but when you get in routine, you get in routine. 🙂

  7. cate says:

    I am so on the same page with you! haha when I do have social interaction I am so so awkward…I didn’t realize it was a skill you had to practice until after I had my sweet babies!

    • Courtney says:

      LOL That’s what so funny…I really was a social person a long time ago. And then I had a baby and started spending more time with my online friends than real life friends. It’s easier to be social on the internet when you don’t have to get out of your pajamas and go anywhere. 🙂

  8. Julia says:

    I can really relate to this and whole I love the occasional night out with my friends I’m mostly a home body. And you will rarely catch me running from playdate to playdate it’s just too exhausting .

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