Growing up, I always thought that I would be a girl mom. I was raised with girl cousins and a little sister. While there were boys in our family, we were never super close, so I knew next to nothing about the ins and outs of being around boys. Aside from the fact that boys were a little smellier than girls and that their sports teams were more physical (which, I still say is up for debate. If you’ve watched a girls softball tournament, you can understand my hesitation in believing that one…), I was completely clueless about what made up the male lifestyle.
I envisioned pink and yellow nurseries, frilly dresses and those little lacy underpants that had the ruffles on the rear. Tea parties, Barbie dolls, and eventually cheerleading and Girl Scouts. I anticipated passing all of my beauty queen knowledge down to my daughter and eventually teaching her to put on makeup and do her hair.
And then you two came along and turned my world, and my heart, upside down.
I remember your Grandmommy telling me that I would never know a love like the one that lives between a mother and her son. Since your daddy is one of two boys, she knew a thing or two about raising boys and about the ins and outs of the relationships between mother and son. I was scared to dive into this world of dirt, monster trucks and all things creepy crawly, but she reassured me that everything would be okay.
And it is.
In fact, it’s better than anything else that I could have ever imagined.
I know every mother loves her child. Of that, there is no question. But the love that I have for you two? This bond that seems to exist between us? It’s unlike anything I’ve ever known and it’s indescribable to anyone except those other moms who have the pleasure of raising boys.
Watching the two of you explore and learn about the world around you is satisfying in a way that nothing else ever could be. Despite the vast difference in your ages and the stages you are in, you are both curious and eager to see what’s going on…
Noah- my big boy. My handsome little four year old who is growing so much faster than I ever really wanted you to. You are curious about everything. You wonder about everything. I’ve never known anyone who is so…intuitive and so vastly imaginative. Your creativity baffles me and your innocence humbles me. You see good in everyone and have a sweetness to you that I hope you will hold onto for years and years to come.
Jonah- my baby. My squishy little snuggle monster. You want so badly to be a big boy. You are dying to be a big kid. To follow your brother around and do all of the things that he’s doing. You are trying your hardest to get out of this baby phase and move on to the next one. The stage that allows you to get on the move and start exploring and learning about the world around you. But I am determined to hold onto this baby phase for just a bit longer. To keep you tiny and unscathed for a bit longer.
Part of me will always want a little girl to do the girly things with…the hair, the makeup, the Barbies and the dolls.
But you two? You fill a piece of my heart than no daughter ever could. You fill up a void that I didn’t even know existed.
Being a boy mom gives me a whole different perspective on the world. The perspective that comes from laying in the grass and covering yourself in dirt. The one that’s a result of seeing things through rambunctious, curious little eyes. Eyes full of wonder and of eager exploration.
I hope that you will always show me your world. You will always help me see things the way you see them.
I love you both more than you know.
To the ends of the universe and back again.
It’s that time again to link up with my Clickin Mom gals and participate in the monthly blog circle! Keep the circle going and pop on over to see what Megan has captured this month!
Courtney Kirkland is a Southeast Alabama Writer & Designer. Since 2008, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, intentional design to small businesses & bloggers and encouraged thousands to walk in a rich faith in any situation.