If you’ve been reading long, you know that I was considering going back to work part-time at Bayfront Medical Center. They “unofficially” offered me a job in the Trauma Center. A job I was really excited about. I miss working in the hospital. We took Josh to go buy new scrubs for his new job a few weeks ago and it all came flooding back to me, how much I loved my job back in Alabama at the Unit.
The lady told me to go and get my CPR certification renewed and that she would call me with an interview with the Department Director. I never got around to getting it done-and she never called. The day I had my class set up, Josh came home from work really early sick. He spent all day that day in bed and I watched Noah (actually, I deferred Noah to other parts of the house so he wouldn’t get whatever his daddy had). I was going to go the next week, but then my PawPaw died and we ended up in Alabama for a week. Now, this week Josh has duty and is finishing up a few orientation classes at Edward White Hospital (his new job) and I still don’t have time to go get this certification done. Did I mention, that she never called me with my interview?
I’ve been doing alot of thinking about it over the past couple of days, and I spent a lot of time praying about it over the last few weeks, and I have decided that this is God’s way of telling me that he wants me to be at home with Noah. And I am kind of relieved. True, I get ridiculously bored sometimes sitting at home all day with sometimes absolutely nothing to do. But, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t want to miss the “first” moments with Noah. I was sitting there the other day watching him pull up on the furniture in the living room and I thought to myself how upset I would be if he took his first steps and I wasn’t there to see them. It would break my little mommy heart!
Plus, I also thought about the “seperation anxiety” phase he is in right now. We went to the movies for my birthday the other night and the lady next door that was keeping him said he cried for almost 2 hours after we left. I know that’s a phase that he will grow out of, but the idea of him screaming with someone that I don’t really even know for several hours upsets me. Granted these people are professionals and whatever, but I am uneasy with the idea of someone that isn’t family or a close personal friend being around my son while he pitches his fit. I’m not saying that anything would happen to him, but you can’t be too careful with people these days.
And with Josh about to start a second job, I want to make sure that Noah has a constant parental figure there with him all the time. I just have this inkling that if I go back to work that he’s going to be spending more time than I realize in someone elses care, and I just really don’t want that. God has been slowly revealing all of this to me the past day or two and I’m confident that he has a purpose for me being a stay at home mom. This is what I always said that I wanted when I was growing up. I never made any ultimate, huge career plans. In school when we had to write “when I grow up I want to be…” papers, I always wanted to be a mommy and wife…and maybe a teacher (paid summers off and you work when your kids are at school-still haven’t ruled that out completely). I just think this is best right now.
And God is really helping me with the whole boredom thing. I’ve discovered the wide world of mommy blogging and I’m hooked. I’ve found so many great reads that occupy me in between cleaning and tidying up and keeping Noah out of stuff. I love to blog. I haven’t even checked my facebook because I spend my time on blogger when I get online. This is also fueling my passion to write. I think the good Lord has something up his sleeve with that too, but I will have to wait and see.
If you bloggy friends will, just keep me in your prayers. I’ve pretty much made up my mind to stay a Full Time Stay at Home mom, but I am hoping to go back to school in January and this is really an area of my life in which I need God’s direction and guidance. I am one of those people who would enjoy doing so many things (interior design, graphic/website design, teaching, writing, nursing, psychology) and I don’t know what it is that GOD wants me to do. I know he has a will and a plan for me, I just can’t figure out what it is. If you will, just keep me in your thoughts and pray that I have the patience and the open heart to hear God’s plan for me; and that God will show me in his time. Hope you all have a blessed evening and a Wonderful Weekend! Going now to snuggle up with the hubby and drift off to sleep! Good Night All! 🙂
Courtney Kirkland is a Southeast Alabama Writer & Designer. Since 2008, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, intentional design to small businesses & bloggers and encouraged thousands to walk in a rich faith in any situation.