I'm a Single Mama doing what I love and fueled by Grace, Mercy, and a whole lot of coffee. I'm so glad you are here!

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I'm Courtney.

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  1. Laura says:

    This post breaks my heart, Courtney. I’m sorry. I hope you find some sunshine soon – literally, and otherwise! Love, prayers & hugs.

  2. Nessa says:

    Thinking of you.

    It took 18 months to have our daughter, and it was hard. Hard to stay positive and think all those things you are supposed to think… in its own time, in Gods hands, be grateful for what I do have, be happy for others… Just know your not alone, not in your struggle, in your questioning or your sadness.

  3. Kyna says:

    I would love to just come over there and give you a great big hug! I know there is nothing that I can say to take the pain and hurt away, but just know that I care about you so much, and I am thinking of you!
    ♥ Kyna

  4. Nicole says:

    Courtney – I have been in your shoes!. I know people say that but they don’t *really* understand, but I *really* d0!. I’m a canadian – from Toronto. That means LONG WINTERS. I understand that “greyness” of winters all too well. Feb is an especially hard month to get through as it’s bordering the end of Winter, and you’re hanging out for Spring.

    I also *really* understand the slump and exhaustion of not being able to conceive. You see, hubs and I had Eve by simply throwing our underwear in the same wash load, and bang – we were pregnant. Then when she was 2, we decided it was time for another – they were going to be 2 yrs and 10 months part. Well, they’re not. Eve and my second daughter Lilah are 4 yrs apart. We struggled to conceive for almost 14 months.

    What was going on?. I was even on Clomid for 3 months and we STILL weren’t pregnant. I convinced myself we were only meant to have 1 child. Then when we WEREN’T thinking about it, and I wasn’t busy charting my temperature, we conceived.

    We now have our little Lilah – who is now 2.

    What i’m trying to say is, hang in there. Sometimes the best things happen when you’re not expecting them.

    xx, Nicole

  5. Kimberly says:

    Winter is a hard season to get through in itself. But going through this, I know, is harder. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Know that I’m here for you.

  6. Michelle says:

    Girl the dreary winter days are rough on their own, let alone when you are going through the other stuff. I’m always here for a chat if you need a pick-me-up 🙂
    xx

  7. When I have days like that, I have to physically force myself to turn everything over to God and rest in Him. HE will give you the desires of your heart. Love you girl, and I’m praying for you!

  8. Love you, girl. I know it’s hard, but you are an amazing woman. Praying that God will grant your desires and give you gladness in your heart in the in-between time.

  9. molly says:

    I’m so sorry, Courtney. I had no idea you were struggling. I hope you can get some answers and start feeling better.

  10. Laura says:

    I wish I could come over today and share a cup of coffee with you. I wish we could sit around a kitchen table while our sons napped or played and just talk quietly about our lives and our struggles. Reading this just made me want to throw my arms around you and hug you. That’s it. No words of encouragement. No “I understand”s, even if I do, to an extent (ESPECIALLY about that Big Brother shirt.) No “Just give it to God” because I know that sometimes, that is harder said than done.

    Just a hug. And a shared cup of coffee.

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Courtney Kirkland is a Southeast Alabama Writer & Designer. Since 2008, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, intentional design to small businesses & bloggers and encouraged thousands to walk in a rich faith in any situation.