filed under:

Doing the Obvious

May 6, 2016

Did you guys know that we live in a politically correct society?

One in which we can not, should not, dare not offend anyone.

You can’t say “hey guys” to a group of dudes standing around because what if one of them doesn’t “identify” as a guy? That would be offensive. I am not supposed to carry my little boy into the bathroom with me (depending on where you go in which we tend to avoid those places) when we are out shopping or running errands because someone may deem it “inappropriate” for me to take a seven year old into the women’s bathroom. As a Christian I am expected to want to send my children to a private Christian school, because that’s just what “good Christians” do. And heaven forbid our children be socialized in a secular world.

Lemme break it down for you, folks.

I am a caucasian American female. I am a military wife, therefore I put my hand on my heart upon hearing the Pledge of Allegiance and the Star Spangled Banner. I cry like an idiot when I watch Military Homecoming videos and have a very deep rooted sense of Patriotism and appreciation for our military-all branches. I do not believe that the military makes enough money, but I also know that the military men & women that I know, don’t join to make money. They join because they love their country.

I am a mother of two little boys. I don’t know anything about parenting girls. I know that our three year old is as boy as boy can get. However, he likes to have his toenails painted. No. I am not worried that painting my sons toenails blue or green or any other color is going to make him gay. Yes. Our oldest son has special needs but we are still not quite sure what to “call” them. We know he has severe anxiety. We know he has childhood depression. We know that he exhibits every symptom of ADHD while also exhibiting many, many symptoms of high-functioning autism. No. I am not worried about a diagnoses. Because our son is our son, no matter what. We intend to do whatever it takes to get him whatever help he may need.

Yes. We have every intention of still adopting a child from Burundi, Africa. You wouldn’t believe the amount of comments and questions that I receive about whether we are still adopting since we have “all of this going on with Noah.” A special needs child does not make the world stop turning; at least not for our family. Our family is no more complete or incomplete because of that. Noah is very excited about the fact that he 1) gets to go with us to Africa when we go; and 2) that he is going to have another sibling (he is 100% certain that it’s going to be a boy).

Yes. We send our children to public school. We did one full year of private Christian school and, in all honesty, it was the worst (and most expensive) decision we have ever made as parents.  I’ve learned to never say never, but we don’t anticipate ever venturing down the road of private school again. We were not only disappointed by the quality of the education, but completely unsatisfied by the doctrine and the legality that was being infused into our son. Not to mention, he moved from private school to public school having remained on a K4 reading level with a teacher who never once mentioned his trouble or the issues he was having.

Don't Judge me Because I sin Differently than you do. via @CourtneyKirklnd

On that note…I don’t believe in church. Why? Because the American church today and the church that Christ intended are not the same thing. In fact, I feel so strongly about how far that our church has fallen that I’m in the process of writing the book proposal for my first book on this very topic. I’ve seen and heard too many stories from people who have hurt by “God’s people” and have been on that end of things myself. It’s painful. It makes you question. And it’s ridiculous.

Here’s what I do believe…

I believe in loving people. Black, white, green, orange, gay, straight, transgender, bisexual, adulterous, thief, murderer…everyone-and I do mean EVERYONE- is a sinner who deserves the love and the grace that God has shown me.

I believe in Jesus Christ. While I don’t believe in the Jesus that American has stigmatized and made out to be a fairy godfather of sorts, I believe in the real life, nail in the hands, Jesus.

I believe that every single person makes mistakes. Mine are no worse or better than yours. One of my absolute favorite quotes is, “Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you do.” We all have secrets. We all have sin. We all do things or think things in private that we wouldn’t want anyone to know about. The ones who cast stones and make judgements are the ones who simply can’t handle their own mistakes and choose, instead, to highlight and focus on the mistakes of others. Not cool, y’all.

I believe in doing the obvious.

Homeless man on the street? Give him money or buy him food. Who cares what he does with the money? That’s not a judgement for you to make. See a child at your son/daughters school that doesn’t have snack or can’t afford a field trip? Buy one for them. Pay their way. Know a friend is having a bad day? Buy her coffee. Come babysit her child for her while she takes a class and see that there is a load of towels on the dryer that haven’t been folded? Fold them (thanks, Rachel! <3). You child/spouse is upset? Be there to listen and not speak. Know that someone is struggling financially? Help them.

No single act of kindness is going to move mountains. But multiple small acts can change the world.

This life really isn’t as complicated as we make it out to be. Love is really all that matters. The doctrines, the hatred, the racism, the ignorance of ridicule, the judgement. It’s all pointless. We love, because he loved.


This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you (John 15:12).


Doing the Obvious via @CourtneyKirklnd

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Best of

The Blog


Every session is full of emotion, laughter, and authentic relationships.

explore my photography services ⟼

copyright 2020 courtney kirkland  |  brand identity + design by with grace & gold

Courtney Kirkland is a Southeast Alabama photography and design business. Since 2008, Courtney has passionately provided beautiful, meaningful documentary-style photography and intentional, high-quality design.  Value and celebrate the beautiful, messy, and uniquely-special moments of everyday living.