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And now for something controversial (and sexy)

There is a new style of photography that is making its rounds in the industry. It’s causing some controversy and in some places, an uproar. It’s called boudoir photography. It originally started gaining popularity among the “bride-to-be” crowds and has since expanded to a much wider audience. What it is it, exactly? For all intense purposes, it’s a lingerie shoot. A chance for a woman to put on her sexy little nothings and pose in front of a camera. Most photographers offering this are teamed up with stylists and makeup artists who offer professional services to have the ‘model’ looking and feeling her sexiest.

So what’s with the controversy?

I originally read about this on the I Heart Faces Discussion Board, so I started doing a little research. I couldn’t find much more than a bunch of different galleries, some tasteful and others not so much. But I did find a few comments and mini articles here and there about how ‘unprofessional’ and damaging this style of art is. So, I thought that I would share the negative of this debate with you guys, share my opinion and then get your feedback. I know everyone is going to have some sort of opinion and I would really love to hear yours.

Ok. So the negatives being thrown around with this are the idea that a) by offering your husband/fiance/boyfriend/whoever these photos you are setting yourself up for future unrealistic expectation; and b) you are placing and creating further stumbling blocks for men battling with pornography addictions.

First, I’ll address point A. I personally think this is stupid. Every woman changes. Especially after she has a baby. Both physically and emotionally. That’s a commonly known fact. And if your husband or whoever hasn’t come to term with that fact yet, then he is going to be in for a disappointment anyway. Let’s just face it. Unless you have intentions of spending thousands upon thousands of dollars over the course of your lifetime for expensive and painful plastic surgeries [Hello, Heidi Montag], then you will age. Period. That’s the way that God made us. Nothing other than dying at a young age, which I hope none of you do, is going to stop the aging process.

As far as point B is concerned…that’s a toughie and a somewhat legitimate argument. Our churches have spent countless hours trying to keep things like this out of the homes. It’s no secret that pornography addiction is a struggle for men everywhere. It’s a unavoidable as the aging thing. And if you are in denial that men battle it, then I encourage you to grab yourself a copy of “Men’s Secret Wars” by Patrick Means. The Hubby did a study on this book with his men’s group at church a few years back and I ended up reading most of it when he was done. There is a lot that goes through the minds of our men, things we may not want to admit or acknowledge but they are there. And it’s our jobs as wives and as Christian women to prevent stumbling blocks. {That in itself is a whole different blog.}

However, I do thing that the SEX LIFE of our marriages is important as well. And everyone knows that lingerie is popular among the testosterone driven species. So what does that mean? Personally, I feel that by giving these types of photos to our husbands we may be decreasing a desire or a temptation to seek out pornographic material. Having read interviews [in the book mentioned] with men who struggle with this addiction, most all of them admit to still being in love with and turned on by their wives. Men are also driven by image. Could offering our husbands images of ourselves keep them from seeking out other pictures? Or would it only fuel their ‘need’ for photographic stimulation? {See what I mean, I told you this was controversial!!}

In that aspect, I think that would be a case by case type of thing. Some men it may cease their ‘desire’ all together. To have beautiful, sexy photographs of their wives. I actually read a statistic on a site when I was reading up on this that said that branches of the military were seeing drop in the usage of pornography due to a lot of wives having these types of pictures made and sent overseas with their husbands. Others, it may trigger something else. It may cause more damage than it is worth. But I think that’s something that would just have to be evaluated individually.

Now, the positives. This is just a short list of reasons I think this can be a positive thing. No real research went into this. Just my own opinions. I would actually probably enjoy having something like this done for my husband. With a few strict stipulations. First and foremost, I would only have these types of photographs taken by a trusted and professional female photographer. When I said “I Do” I said it to my husband. These types of pictures would be a gift to him and only to him. No contract allowing the photographer to publish said photos would ever be signed. These would be something sensual and intimate between us only. They would also have to be done in a very tasteful manner. None of that “X-Rated” whips and chains type rubbish. [And yes, there are those who shoot that kind. Trust me, I researched.]

Having had a baby, putting on a few extra pounds, and gotten almost completely out of shape, there are soooo many days when I feel extremely far from “sexy.” Most days, that word isn’t even on the list of how I would describe myself. Usually the words, “plain, dull and ordinary” top the charts. It would be great to feel sexy again. A professional hair stylist and makeup artist to fix me up and make me look phenomenal and a sexy wardrobe would do wonders. All women have the drive and the desire to feel wanted, sexy and beautiful. No matter who you are or what religion you are or where you are from: at some point you have wanted to feel sexy. It would be like being a Victoria’s Secret Model for the day. I like lingerie. Got a ton of it when I got married. I feel sexy and I know that the hubby thinks I look great in it. Why not capture it in a photograph? After all, one day I won’t be young anymore.  🙂

What are your thoughts on this? Would this help or hinder a relationship? Or would it even matter? Would it be a stumbling block or a help in preventing temptation? Would YOU ever do this? With what stipulations? Let me hear from you!

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Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017



Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What started in 2008 as a way to keep family up to date with our then only sons happenings quickly morphed into an outlet and a way of sharing the many, many things God was doing in my life with the world. As I write and share pieces of our story, I invite you in to our chaos. I am so happy to have you along for the journey...

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